Fr. Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish. He asked for suggestions as to how to raise money for his church. He was told that horse owners always had money, so he went to a horse auction but made a very poor buy, as the animal he bought turned out to be a donkey. However. he thought he might as well enter the donkey in a race, and the donkey came in third. The next morning, the headlines read "Fr. Murphy’s Ass Shows".
The archbishop was very displeased. The next day, the donkey came in first so the headlines read "Fr. Murphy Ass Out in Front." The archbishop was up in arms and insisting that something had to be done. Fr. Murphy entered the donkey for a third time, and in this race, the donkey came in second. The headlines now read "Fr. Murphy’s Ass Back in Place".
The archbishop thought that this was too much, so he ordered the priest to race no more. This inspired the newspaper editor to write "Archbishop Scratches Fr. Murphy’s Ass".
When the archbishop read this, he commanded Fr. Murphy to get rid of the donkey. Fr. Murphy gave the donkey to Sister Agatha, who intended to retire the animal and treat it as a pet. Now the headlines read "Nun Owns Best Ass in Town". Now the archbishop order Sister Agatha to get rid of the donkey immediately, so she sold it to a petting zoo for ten dollars. The next morning's newspaper headlines read "Sister Agatha Peddles Ass for Ten Dollars" - then they buried the archbishop.