STOP THE CUTTING OF ROCKS
Just Say NO! to Lithosection
Lithosection is widespread among Geology Departments, where it is practiced by a group of largely government-funded professors and their students. This group of pseudo-scientific researchers regularly slice, grind, polish, and sputter lithologic materials that have been forcibly removed (sometimes violently) from the familiarity of their natural habitats and stored in crowded, small, dark cabinets where they may reside for poly-annic periods while serving a quest of interest to only a small group of rock-smashing, pseudo-intellectual candidates for lithodomoys.
End the Production of Instruments that Destroy Rocks
The following descriptions of lithosectionist techniques were extracted from literature accounts contained in journals of lithosectionists:
"Flourination was proceeded by partial digestion in boiling sulfuric acid, followed by rinsing with flourboric acid. The material was then subjected to a temperature of 1090O F at two pounds pressure of ClF3. Extracted matter was then converted to CO2 in a platinum furnace."
What practical outcomes can this subjection of lithologic materials to these grievous stresses yield?
The anti-Lithosectionist Movement is one of the fastest growing political action committees in the USA. Support the effort to liberate lithologic materials! We urge you to write to your NSF reviewers and demand they refuse to continue funding the perpetration of these atrocities against rocks by pseudo-scientific geochemists and geophysicists.
Don't you think
YOU'LL SLEEP BETTER TONIGHT
knowing that you have taken a stand?
Join the League for the Liberation of Laboratory Lithologic Specimens.
Source unknown; adapted from paper borrowed from V. Max Brown's door just down the hall and apparently supplied by G. Henderson, Environmentalist